Going down without a fight
by miss.jenny.g-baby
Summary: Rose is dealing with some new side effects from spirit. It's starting to worry dimitri, and adrian. She soon finds herself in love trouble, R
1. Chapter 1: Unexpected Darkness

**Chapter 1- The unexpected**

**Rose pov**

_His hands trailed the full length of my body. Leaving behind the hot burning flesh of my desire. I had my hand around his neck while the other wound up in his silky dark hair. Our tongues battling for dominance. I began to feel something hard pressing against my thigh. I then began grinding our lower halfs together, earning an encouraging moan of exasperation from him._

"_Gosh Roza, you don't know how much I want you" I could hear the lust, need, passion , but most of all love evidently in his voice as he bagan to lift my tank-top above my head. Making us part away for an instant, but as soon as he could he continued where he left off._

_This was it I could feel it. I was going to lose my virginity to the only man on this world that I have ever and will ever be able to love. It was the most prefect moment of my life. And it didn't matter where it was either here on the gym floor on a mat, but just as long as it was with my- yes MY Dimitri._

_He looks me in the eyes as if asking for permission. I already have made my choice and am confident of it as I gave a shy nod of my head. He kissed me one last time before-_

_BEEP. BEEP. BEEP_

Ugh! I groan as I roll over to hit the snooze button on my annoyingly flaring alarm a little more roughly then nessasary. I took a slow deep breath. _Calm Rose it was just a dream , just a dream, just a dream_

I chanted too myself, but oh how I wished it wasn't just a dream. I wanted it all to be real, but I guess things like those only happen on novels and movies. AND DREAMS. I wished at this moment that the saying "If you dream had enough then it may come true" I wanted that dream to be true, but at least I'll see him in person at practice this morning-

_BEEP. BEEP. BEEP._

"Stupid Alarm," I say as I get out of bed and debate weither to shower before practice with Dimitri. One look At the clock and I had my answer. No shower. I'd be lucky if I wasn't late, but then again when aren't I.

I put on a dark red sleve-less low-cut t-shirt, and some black boy shorts. I put my hair up in a pony tail brushing out the tangels . I looked at my self in the mirror self consously before walking out of my dorm room with my gym bag in hand, and I have to admit it I looked pretty darn good for being late.

I half way jogged to the gym. As soon as I got through the door I looked up to see one very sexy-Russian laying on the floor reading one of his favorite western novels. I trailed my eyes up and down as I checked him out.

_No wonder I'm having those out of control dreams at night with him laying down in his might in grace like that. Stop Rose. He's your mentor remember! _I scolded myself remembering how evident he made it himself also. Always talking about how our relationship could affect our profesion and career both of ours. That's the tough life of being a guardian I told myself.

I then let my gym bag drop onto the gym floor making a loud _OMPH! _As it landed.

His head then instantly snapped up as he arranged his posture and lifted himself of of the the mat he had currently been laying on.

"Sorry Rose I didn't hear you come in," said Dimitri.

"See Comrade I told you my wicked ninja skills have improved lately," I said as I grinned at him. It was true to a certain extant. I could see What I had said caused a small smill to form at the tip of his lips. "Oh come on Dimitri give me some credit, because you know for a fact yourself that I have improved my fighting skills"

That was all he needed a full on rare smile touched his beautiful lips as he gave a low chuckle. "Yes Rose I do know for a fact that you ninja skills have improved" he looked at me in straight in the eyes-straight into my soul "I'm proud of you Roza"

I felt so many emotions at that moment. But then everything went black.

**Cliffie because I didn't get many reviews and well I just had to post this one up! Like I still don't know who Rose is going to end up with , but give me your opinion and some valid reasons of why? Not just a Dimitri- cus he's HOT…. Lolz**

**Ooo Jenn ooO**


	2. Chapter 2: Apology

**HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE!**

**Hey sorry I haven't UD recently or at all, but hey it's the holidays so find it in your heart to forgive me… I just haven't UD because I haven't really been inspired… And I want the best for my, few but very important to me, readers. I just haven't found the time to write. But, all in all I found the time now and I guess that is what counts right? Ah what am I babbling on and on about I bet most of you won't even read this, but anyhow on with the story.**

**IS anyone else excited about CHRISTMAS because I know that I am!**

Chapter 2-Apology

I began to regain consciousness, slowly; attentively I began to open my eyes. Only to almost immediately close them once more. By the looks, well peeks, of it I had a very good guess of where I was. I was in the schools infirmary. Only this damn place would have lights this bright.

Someone was there, in the room, though I could tell because as soon as I began to stir they got up, according to the sound of a chair scraping against the tile floor. I then began to hear steps heading in the direction of which my bed was at.

Then once again I took the risk, considering it safe to open my eyes. I felt them begin to flutter open, slowly. Until they were completely open. The room was dark except for a chair next to my bed. Along with a big, tall, dark shadow. A shadow that could only belong to a dhamphir, but not just any dhaphir.

It was Dimitri

I observed as he slowly stepped closer to my bed. I began to get irritated and just wanted to get to the point and ask him what had happened. But, I couldn't open my mouth. Well it wasn't that I couldn't I just felt to… weak to do it. I tried moving.

YES relief flooded over me. I could move just that not as quick and in the way I was accustomed to, but it was better than nothing.

A few seconds passed as I could feel the stare of Dimitri, I still felt irritated that he didn't say anything just looked at me and stood there. So, I was relieved when he came forward and sat down in the chair next to my bed.

He lent forward and pushed back a lock of stray hair out of my face, then turned on a lamp that was on the bedside table. That's when he first broke the silence, "Lissa thought about a lamp, knowing that when you woke up the first thing you'd complain about would be the bright light." He then returned to just looking at me.

He had left his hand on the bed. So I couldn't resist but reaching forward towards it. Seeking comfort of some sort.

Realizing my intentions Dimitri took hold of my hand in his. And began to rub soothing circles into the palm of my hand. Slowly my eyes began to close once more, but I fought it off.

Staring into my eyes he said, "Roza just rest. We don't know what happened to you exactly, but Lissa said she has a pretty good guess at what it was. As does Adrian." He lightly stroked my cheek with gentleness as if he was touching a new born baby. "There's nothing for you to do Roza your body is physically exhausted you need to rest. So sleep, I'll be here to watch over you I promise"

And with his last words as comfort I let my lids droop and closed my eyes thinking. How could I be physically exhausted if I had sleep and rested the same amount of time I did on a regular basis. So how? And what did Lissa and Adrian possibly know? Did it have to do with spirit's healing? Would I be All right? If so would Lissa be all right?

And with those thoughts floating inside my head, I let sleep consume me. Only feeling Dimitri rubbing still soothing circles into my hand.

The next time I woke up the bright lights no linger bothered me as much. The only difference this time was that this time I wasn't alone with Dimitri. In fact Dimitri wasn't in the room at all. But, Lissa, Christian, and Adrian where.

"Finally sleeping beauty awakes," was Christians greeting as soon as he noticed I had regained once more consciousness.

This time when I tried moving I could move and stretch as I pleased with no difficulty. I tried speaking, "Hey, where's Dimitri?"

"She wakes up and first thing she asks for is for her cradle robber," muttered Adrian rolling his eyes, but other than that he seemed relieved as well as Lissa. She looked as though my waking up had taking off the whole worlds weight off of her shoulders.

"Oh my god, Rose I'm so sorry this was my entire fault," she gushed as she broke into tear. Christian quickly headed to comfort her. Putting his arms around her while she sobbed into his chest, while Adrian showed a pained expression.

**There I just had to put this up. Either now or never I'm not totally satisfied with it, but hey I tried my best XD… Ugh I'll try to UD soon but maybe not today I only got 4 hrs of sleep. Hey blame my phone and the people who txt me and that keep distracting me from UD… But, just review this chapter and tell me what you think I guess…**

**Nd I wish you a Yogi Christmas... I wish you a Yogi Christmas… I wish you a Yogi Christmas… and a Boo Boo New Year lolz =)**


	3. Chapter 3: Who's to blame

**Hey just felt like putting up this chapter since it was Christmas.**

**Chapter 3-Who's to blame**

"This was all my fault everything that happened," was what I had understood from what Lissa was saying while the rest was being muffled as she sniffed. "I'm so sorry rose I, just, didn't know what I was doing we were just trying to see if it would work, but I didn't knkow you where already up,"

I was too stunned to be able to comfort her. What was she talking about? Why was she sorry?

"liss come here," I told her in a such a soothing voice that I didn't even recognize as my own. She stepped out of Christians arms and took jold of my hand. I sat up in one swift motion. "Everything is fine, I'm not mad… just tell me liss what happened why are you," I looked at Adrian, "and Adrain looking as if you just plot a plan to hurt me. What happened? I want-no I need to know"

Adrian wad the first to speak up, "little Damphir it's not that" he racked his hand shakely through his hair, "it's just that if it wouldn't have been for us trying to experiment, with Spirit, then none of this would have occurred." He looked down, as if ashamed to look me in the eyes.

"Yeah, Rose we're just so sorry," Lissa said with fresh tears bringing the rim of eyes.

"So then it my fainting and physical exhaustion was caused by Spirit?" I leaned forward taking hold of Adrian's hand and letting go of lissa before giving one parting reasureing squeeze.

"look I'm fine I am ok and I want you two to stop blaming yourselves over this okay?" nobody answered, "are we okay?"

They shook their heads in agreement, "Now Christians a witness to this agreement. But, just out of pure curiuosity how long have I been out?"

I had been wanting to as that question since the first time I regained consousness, but seeming as my body was too exhausted I had decided to leave that question for later, but now I suppose it was later.

"Not a week if that's what you were thinking," said Lissa giving me a small smile before continueing, "when you first blocked out Dimitri was frantic."

I felt my heart race begin to quicken at the thought of him worrying over me. I sent a silent prayer to whomever may have been listening that I wasn't attached to any machines. I didn't want all mmy friends knowing what just by hearing his name made my heart beat quicken and my body heat.

"Can't say I blame him being your mentor and considering how you looked." She continued as she grimced as if picturing it in her mind,

I could only imagine how I may have looked. I was even tempted to interrupt., but opted not to. Wanting to know more about what had happened

"Rose you were so pale almost as if life had been drained away from you and then your eyes weren't even closed shut. Dimitri had to close them for you. He asked for the nurse to go fetch me, knowning how close the two of us are. But, Adrian, Christian, and I were already on our way when th-"

"Wait liss, you all the three of you were together at that time of the morning? Half the academy isn't even up and about at that time?" I said cutting her off aburtly cutting her off mid-sentence. I couldn't figure out what or why they may have been up at that time. But, I had a good guess that it had to do with spirit.

**There that's all I have now I have to go eat… lolz review it people please! **

**Oo****oJenno****oO**


	4. Chapter 4: Woah smouch

**WOW it's been awhile since I've UD… With all the things going on well yeah it's been like 6months**

After all my guess was right. It did have to do with spirit, but I didn't want Lissa worrying herself over it. After all it didn't seem that serious at least not to me it didn't.

They had been practicing spirit. Dream walking out of all things. They had explained that they did it early in the morning because they knew that's when the majority of the people at the Academy where asleep.

They just didn't think I would be up. I still had training with Dimitri even though I had already caught up with the class. Hell I was even a bit ahead of class. Training with Dimitri meant waking up early in the morning.

So Lissa had to choose someone in which dream she would enter. That's why they took Christian. But in the end he couldn't go back to sleep so Lissa had to choose another person. Adrian recommended me which was why he felt so guilty.

Adrian had already come up with a theory. He thought it would be easier for Lissa bonded which in a way made sense. So they talked about how hard Lissa tried. Until to dream walk into my head since we were eventually she made progress soon to be taken over by darkness…

This is where Adrian had another theory. He thought that since I wasn't asleep Lissa willed me to sleep. In which I kind of thought was a weird way, by making me go unconscious. Adrian had also thought this through. He explained she was able to do this through the bond. In a way Lissa was happy, but mad. She was glad she had gotten into my head although al she saw was darkness from when I became unconscious. But she was mad, mad at herself that she had hurt me in a manner which she didn't try or attempt to.

After a long conversation that had a lot to do with my reasons for being uncurious they left me alone. I layed on my bed. Staring at the white ceiling. Squinting from the all too bright white lights the infirmary had similar to the ones at doctors offices.

I was alone until someone came in. I didn't bother turning to look probably it was just another nurse coming to check how I was doing. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Letting things sink in to my head a couple minutes passed, and I hadn't heard the nurse leave. So I opened my eyes and turned my head only to see Dimitri.

He was standing tall against the wall. He was staring at me with those brown eyes in which depths I could disappear into.

"Hey comrade," I said offering a small smile. "You know I don't bite, why don't you sit down on one of those chairs?"

He brought a chair over near my bed. He sat down, and looked at me. He looked at me with love and worry his guardian mask down. Letting me be able to red his emotions.

"What you're not talking to me now?" I asked. Having him not said a word since he came into the room.

"Yes, Why wouldn't I want to talk to you Roza," He having said my name in Russian made my heart flutter. "I was so worried about you"

"Why would you be after all I just fainted," I said

"Well, yes you did but after talking to the Princess," I could see that worry in is eyes begin to stir again. "I'm just worry about you"

"Why?" was my response.

"What if this isn't one of the first times that this happens? I-I couldn't bare to see you get worse because of Spirit…"

His last words echoad in my head it ws just then that I realized, "Are you admitting that you care for me?" my voice sounded small. I was almost expeting him to shake his head. But what I was not expecting ws what he did next.

He kissed me.

**So what do you guys think I don't know since I haven't written for awhile hope you guys like it though**

**OoJennoO**


	5. Chapter 5: What Did I do

**OKAYYYY let's get down to business first thing is first a big shout out to all of those who reviewed! Many Thanks cookies to all of you. . . But I do take into consideration those who also put my story on story alert, and favorite, as well as the others. But I lose reviews and they seriously motivate me to write and UD faster… So even if I am thankful I would like it more if I got more reviews! And my first reviewer may get to meet Dimitri ehhhh ehhhhhhh (As if? Psh I know right)**

**I am only UD now because one of my close friends nearly jumped me telling me to sit and write pshhhhh but I did how ever think she was right. So here you have me typing away**

**I do not in any way, shape, or form own VA. I wish but I have to console myself with only my VA books… Oh yeah and I also own this plot which at this point of time have no idea where the story is possibly going.**

His lips where soft against my own. The kiss was slow, filled with evident love and care. He had brought his hand up to caress my cheek lovingly. Yet he pulled back all too soon.

"Does that answer your question?" He gave a soft smile.

"Ohhhh I don't know it was on the tip of my tongue you may need to refresh my memory" I said, while giving him a smile of my own. Making him chuckle.

"Maybe this'll help," He kissed me once again, but this time it was longer. Pulling back after we both needed to fill our lungs with much needed air.

I then let myself wonder. _He really does care for me. But what should I say. _I bit my lip, looking out of the window in the room, looking at a tree outside. It was autumn, and the leaves seemed to be starting to turn the brownish orange color they did every year._ I know I love him a lot but s that enough._

I began rambling in my head._ I'm only in risk of being expelled, and losing the chances of being Lissas guardian. I hadn't yet begun to make a reputation for myself. While Dimitri he already has one, one that he is risking just by touching me._

"Rose what's wrong?" Dimitri had taken in my face. I hadn't even realized I was frowning.

"Nothing, just thinking." I looked back at him attempting a smile but it ended up like I grimace.

"About?" He asked catching on to my mood.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Rose I know something is bothering you," He took my hand in one of his, When I looked away. "I just confirmed my care for you. Why don't you trust me?" He hesitated "You know I love you."

"It's not about trust Dmitri. It's just that," I sniffed. Oh the glory here come the water works. "We have got to be realistic. It's one of the things I've learned from you. We can't be together… So then why-"my voice broke, "why are you doing this to me."

"What do you mean Roza?" His mask falling showing me his concern.

"Why do you tell me you care for me? That you love me? And then yet again you end up dropping me off the cloud you lift me up on. By telling me we can't be together. "

"Beca-" I cut him off short.

"Because we are both designated guardians of the same person. I know I know!" I was almost screaming. I tried calming myself down. God knows that someone finding out about us was only going to make things worse if that was near possible. I lowered my voice. "I just don't want to hurt anymore."

"I-I don't know what to say"

"I never thought I would see the day when I would see you speechless. And Dimitri to be honest I love you as well. But I just want to clear things out between us." I looked at him. "I'm sorry if I hurt you and I never meant to explode but I just felt like it was too much, and with spirits darkness I-I-" A tear slid down my cheek. He caught sight of it and brushed it away with his thumb.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" He asked

"Because Dimitri I've gotten to the point of realizing it was useless knowing that in truth there is no 'us' so it wouldn't make a difference if I told you or not."

"I suppose your right, but for some reason I always end up letting go and coming back. Rose I agree with what you." I was stunned

"Agree with what?"

"That maybe we should just stay away from each other. Stop causing so much pain and hurt. Because Roza it also hurts and pains me as it does you as well."

"I know, but I can't"

"Rose your right we do need to stop this. Even if neither of can. It's-" he looked away from me, "for the best"

"Don't" I was almost in tears.

He got up and he looked back at me with tears of his own. "I love you Rose, and If I have to make you forget me, hate me, and loath me. Just to stop making you hurt I will."

Tears fell free from my face, but this time he wasn't here to wipe them away.

What have I done?

I wiped them away I wasn't going to break down here not now.

(Hours later)

After being realesed I walked towards the girl Dhampir Dorms alone. Dr. O had insisted I have someone come for me but after refusing she stopped insisting.

After reaching my dorm I threw myself on my bed and finally let my self be overcome with the excruciating pain coming from my chest. My throat felt as if I was about to die as if no air could get into my lungs from the pain. I finally let the tears flow and the sobs rake threw my body.

**1,1027words woooooo hope this makes up for the time I have been neglecting this story. I am sorry about having this chappie be a sad one… what you all thought it'd be lovely dovely nopeeee. . . . but I fyou review I may consider it though. **

**Jen**


	6. Chapter 6: Your On

**Heyyyy there lovely people I just UD the last chapter a while ago and thought hell why not write the next Ch. ahead of time!**

After what seemed like eternity. My body was finally tired enough to go to sleep. Only to end up in one of Adrian's Spirit Dreams.

I was sitting on a bench with a pair of jeans and short sleeved shirt. I was honestly surprised he hadn't made me wear anything more revealing. Then I saw him.

"What do you want Adrian?" I asked, just wanting to get this over with.

"Nothing just to see how you were. Considering I went to the hospital wing this afternoon and happened to be told you had already left." He shifted "I was worried about you"

I instantly felt guilty. But I had needed time to myself.

"I'm sorry Adrian" I said

"Little Dhampir are you alright?" I shook my head 'no'.

I could feel the tear brim my eyes again I guess I wasn't out of tears at least not in in this dream. Adrian quickly wrapped his arms around me and began to soothingly rub my back. As I told him everything.

For some reason I felt myself be able to open up with him. Telling him everything after all he was the only one that knew about me and Dimitri. Also I knew he wouldn't judge me.

After all my eyes where once again dry I sagged against him.

"Oh Little Dhampir," He tightened his hold on me. "You don't know how I wish I could make all the pain go away."

"Me too" I rasped out. I knew my throat wouldn't only hurt in my dreams but also when I woke up considering I cried more before bed.

"Let me know if there is anything I can do for you okay?" He said beginning to fade. "You're waking up so see you around Little Dhampir"

"Okay, and thanks Adrian"

I woke up to my alarm clock. I was debating either skipping practice or not. I didn't want to face Dimitri but on the other hand I needed to see him. I hastily took a shower and put on a thin white shirt along with a gray hoody with matching shorts. I put on my shoes and went out the door not before grabbing my gym bag.

I pulled my hoody over my face. To cover my hideous stuffy red nose, and puffy bloodshot eyes. I didn't want him to know I had been crying not wanting to make things harder for the both of us.

I walked into the gym.

And there he was as mighty as always. He was outing up the Matts and dropped them in surprise of my sudden appearance.

"Rose your early that's new" He said looking at me. Grimacing as he took in the full sight of me. I looked away.

"Yeah I know," He flinched at my raspy voice. I let the hoody fall. To put my hair up in a ponytail. After leaving my stuff near the door. "So how many laps today?"

"I was thinking if maybe we could talk and well then practice a while." He said as if unsure.

"Okay, I said after all you are the teacher," he grinned.

"But since when has that mattered to the great Rose Hathaway?" I Smiled. Coughing to make hopefully make my voice sound more human.

"True,"

"Yeah and okay. I have just been thinking that if you had the courage to tell me everything yesterday why I shouldn't be able to do the same thing with you" He took a deep breath

While looking at me as if expecting at me to say something, but I was speechless.

"After I realized I had lost all chances with you yesterday," He looked pained "Well I just realized I love you. And that well I wasn't willing to let you go."

"And…" I waited for him to continue.

"Well when I saw you this morning not long ago well just a few minutes to be exact" I almost giggled I couldn't believe he was fumbling for what to say. He let out a breath. "Well I guess what I'm trying to say Is that I thought of a solution for us to be together"

"What is it?"I was so happy to be able to know that in the end we wouldn't really need to be separated.

"Well I could be Christian Ozeras Gardian instead of the princesses. Because we all know that they are going to end up together in the end. And well that way we can be together and be able to protect those we care about."

"Ohmyfucking God," I said "I thought about that once and came to think that you wouldn't lose the chance of guarding the princess." I said shyly

"Well your wrong about that Rose. I care more about my books," I glared "kidding I meant you than the prinsess." I smacked his arm, playfully

"What? It's true. And Well I have a surprise for you but well that's what the mats are for," I smacked him

"Hell no Dimitri I am Not having sex here on the mat with you" I grinned though I kind of did but not when I looked like a mess.

He laughed, and I couldn't help but ask him "Is this how it's going to be now?" He gave me a questioning look, "I mean this carefree and I don't know just like this" I said motioning my arms around me.

"Yes well If you beet me in todays practice." I grinned evily

"You are so on"

"Yeah, but the loser has to let Lissa know about us as well as Christian."

"And Adrian."

"What?"

"You heard ne Dimitri, but I think I'll tell Adrian."

He growled but I ignored it.

"Lets just get this practice over with "We both know who is going to be winning now?" 

"Yeah we all know the Russian God is."

"How do you know?"

"Because there is going to be more reviews saying I win? Also because im hot and sexy"

"No there isn't, You heard me people push the button down there and help me show him how girls can beat some ass!"

**YOU HEARD THEM PEOPLE REVIEW THE CH. As well as the others. Remember they make me UD faster.**


	7. Looking For A Betta!

**Hey! First of I really want to thank all of you wonderful people out there that have been following this story. Because I'm well aware that I don't always happen to update weekly, nor monthly.**

**But I'm willing to compromise. Since I am on summer vacation I was thinking I would write one new chapter every week and have the story wrapped up in like on month and a half. **

**But here's the deal I need a Beta. **

**My grammar skills aren't very good, at least not the way I'd like them to be. And I'd also like someone to help me out with the story. Like giving me ideas, suggestions, and support.**

**And I was thinking that if any of you would be up for the challenge then I'd be estatic to welcome you into my circle of friends! Lol **

**Well if by any chances you anyone did take the time to read this, and is interested DO NOT REVIEW! Because I will be replacing this Not with An actual Chapter. So just feel free to PM me.**

**Thank you, for your time.**


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